he can't be fixed
by danny mahealani
Summary: She wishes she could stop him screaming, that she could reach into his dreams and take the nightmares away for him. She wants to make him okay again, like she used to be. But she's realised that, no mater how hard she tries, he can't be fixed, no matter how much she wants to mend him. ― FinnickAnnie / What if, instead of Annie, Finnick was the one who went insane?


this is for the monthly challenge on **caesar's palace **with the prompt _Lights will guide you home; and ignite your bones; and I will try to fix you - Fix You by Coldplay__  
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this is an au finnick/annie where finnick goes insane instead of annie, because i wanted to experiment with what it would be like if their roles were reversed :)

dedicated to booky (iridescent bookworm) because she ships finnick/annie and i wanted to cheer her up today & epic (the epic bookworm) for reading it through for me. i love you both.

* * *

The waves lap up against the beach that night. Each time the waves rise, they threaten to come closer and closer, until they fall back down again, drawing back, until they rise up again, beginning their journey once more. It's comforting for both of them, the familiarity of the waves. The moon is hung high in the sky, and the night wind makes the couple shiver for a moment.

"Why are you here?" Finnick whispers, his eyes staring up at the stars as though he's seeing things further away than anyone can imagine.

Annie sighs and smiles at him. "Because I love you, of course."

"You could have anyone, Annie." Finnick reminds her.

"I want you," she whispers, pressing a kiss to his lips.

Finnick pulls back for a moment, and grabs Annie's hand, holding it tight, as though he needs reassurance that she's still there; she's not leaving him.

"There are Victors who are much less broken." he says.

"I can try to fix you," she tells him, squeezing his hand back and wishing with all of her heart that she could.

"I don't think you can." Finnick smiles sadly at her.

Annie turns to look at him. "I know. But I can try. I _will _try."

.

He's mad, Finnick Odair—everybody knows that. He went to the games with such hope and then his sanity was gone. They don't really know what drove him crazy—he was supposed to be one of the best Tributes from District Four in years. Perhaps it was that, when he got into the arena, he realised that the Hunger Games are many things, but the one thing they are not is a game.

People see him around the District and they gossip. Perhaps he's not worthy of being the winner of the games—the only thing that kept him alive is that he was the only one who could swim. The others died in a flood—not so much of an iconic win for District Four. He didn't win by slaughtering everyone around him with his trident. It was a weak win, people say. It didn't require anything.

He is mad. There is only one person who sees Finnick, who truly sees him. That person is Annie Cresta. She's been in the games before and she knows why he's crazy. She never got there herself, but sometimes she wonders what it would be like if she was crazy. She wonders if Finnick would care about her the same way she cares about him.

She knows that he may be crazy but she knows that there's something there, underneath. She mentored him and she saw him before the Games—strong, upstanding, brave, and a little vain. She knows the real Finnick and she misses him. But she'll stay with Finnick because no matter whether he's mad or whether he's perfectly sane, she loves him.

She hasn't told him that she loves him, yet. How do you tell a mad person that you're in love with them? But she does love him—she loves him with everything that she is and more. She doesn't care what anyone thinks. He may just be mad old Finnick Odair—but he's her mad old Finnick Odair.

(And maybe someday, she'll be Annie Odair. Wouldn't that be amazing?)

.

They sit on the beach together, most nights. Some nights are special; some nights, Finnick is almost sane. Annie is always there, when he's yelling and screaming. She doesn't like those nights, but she's glad that somebody is there for him. She'd hate for Finnick to be left alone.

One night, Annie tells Finnick that she loves him. There is a long silence, stretching out across the sand, on for infinity until Finnick breaks the silence.

"I know." he says, plainly and simply. "I love you too,"

She may not be able to fix him, and she knows that by now. But maybe Finnick doesn't need fixing. He's perfect as he is—he is lead home by lights, and maybe he screams and writhes and is afraid, but so is everybody. That doesn't stop him being any less perfect to Annie than he was before.

.

She wants to fix him but she can't—how can she fix someone that is so broken? She wishes she could stop him screaming, that she could reach into his dreams and take the nightmares away for him. She wants to make him okay again, like she used to be. But she's realised that, no mater how hard she tries, he can't be fixed, no matter how much she wants to mend him.

And she can't, and that's the hardest thing for her.

"I wish you could be okay again," she whispers to Finnick, one night.

He looks up at her and smiles. "It's okay. I feel better when I'm with you,"'

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